Have you read or seen Pollyanna? Or heard of the Pollyanna Principle? And what has this to do with cultivating an attitude of gratitude?
Gratitude is a Good Thing. We know this, and there is masses of evidence to show the psychological and physiological benefits of gratitude. For instance, gratitude reduces stress and anxiety, improves focus and fosters a strong community, and boosts positive mental health not least by increasing happiness.
What’s not to like?
One fun thing I came across recently is that practicing an attitude of gratitude impacts our actual neurophysiology. I am reading and diving into the world of brain science and coaching, and it is a fascinating and deep pool to swim in.
Gratitude activates the parasympathetic nervous system (‘rest and digest’ bit as opposed to the ‘fight or flight’ bit) which leads to decreased cortisol (a stress hormone), and an increase in dopamine and seratonin (known as happy hormones). This in turn boosts mood and resilience, strengthens the prefrontal cortex (used for higher order executive functioning), quiets the fear response and interrupts negative thinking loops.
Gratitute literally rewires the brain.
Practicing an attitude of gratitude works to rewire the emotional regulation networks in the brain.
HOW COOL IS THAT?
Just take a minute to sit in that knowledge.
Life is hard, challenging, and can feel overwhelming. The world currently feels like an especially unstable, frightening and unpredictable place. And as humans, we tend to be wired to see more negative than positive, known as the negativity bias.
Get 10 compliments and one criticism in a day? Guess what is more likely to be replaying in your head when you can’t sleep. You get my drift.
And as a wise coach I know says,
What we focus on, grows.”
This is another way of talking about additional fun trick of the brain:
Confirmation bias.
Our brains will naturally look for that which we are focusing on. For instance, if you want to buy a red car, you will suddenly start seeing red cars everywhere. Or if you desperately want a relationship or a baby, you will be overwhelmed with seeing happy couples and pregnant women everywhere you turn.
Our brains literally go:
Oh, you are looking for that? Sure, no problem – here is a shed-load more.”
They amplify what we are looking for.
So when we focus on what is hard, what is negative, what we feel we are missing or don’t have, guess what?
The negativity grows.
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude then makes so much sense. Not only are we choosing to look for things that we are thankful for and express gratitude, but in doing so, we are actually rewiring our brains.
Notice I used the word ‘choice’ there.
Because gratitude is a choice.
I talk a LOT here about our power of choice and what we have control over and responsibility for. The only person controlling what is going on inside your head is…YOU. And therefore you can CHOOSE to change the focus. But it is a choice that comes with exponential benefits in changing our perspective, focus, and what the brain is looking for. Our clever brains can then switch to amplifying the gratitude messages and finding lots of other things to be grateful for.
Everyone wins!
But what has this to do with Pollyanna? A modern interpretation of the criticism of Pollyanna would be the term toxic positivity – being excessively positive and blind to the negative and in so doing, denying or invalidating less ‘acceptable’ emotions like pain, sadness, grief, anger etc. This can inhibit people from processing emotions safely and effectively. What we feel is what we feel – emotions are simply data after all. More on that here.
It is crucial for our physical and mental health that we are able to name and acknowledge how we ARE feeling when things are hard and not just straight to the
…yes but, it could be worse, or at least the sun is shining…” etc.
Don’t worry, be happy and all that.
Grr.
So, there is a balance. We acknowledge when things are hard, and give space and respect to those feelings. And we also recognise that many emotions can co-exist (a hugely popular post on that here).
And this is where practicing an attitude of gratitude comes in. We can not only acknowledge what is hard, we can then choose to deliberately and intentionally look for something that we are grateful for. And we now know that this practice encourages our brain to reinforce and amplify that, and look for MORE things to be grateful for.
Again, a win win.
Like any other kind of training, we have to practice and work at this. Rewiring our brain takes time, intentional and repeated practice, and buckets of self-compassion on wobbly days.
What are some simple gratitude practices that help? This is where we will go next time.
For now, my lovely reader, simply allow yourself to feel what you feel in this moment. And then choose to focus on some small thing that you are thankful for as you cultivate an attitude of gratitude.